私 は ぶじゅつ(martial arts) が すきです。 しゃうりん の しゅあんふぁ をれんまします。 も、水けん は 一番 すきです、よ。 水けん は 酔余 の ぶじゅつです。 でも、 あまり アルクホル を よみます。 ぶじゅつ は ずいぶん きりつ が あります。 アルクホル を のむ は きりつ が ありません。 ぶじゅつ を する と アルクホル を のむ は つりあい と思います。 このひと の ビデオ の 中 に 私じゃない。 でも、私 水けん の ビデオ を つくる と すご は この ビデオ を とりかえる 予定です。
も、あなた は 人気 の 京都 の ところ は どこ か わかりますか。
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Rosie
姪子（めいご）います。 お名前はRoseです。 土曜日私の家行きました。 私はお母さんにRoseが日本語のクラスへ連れ込めっていただきたいんですが... お母さんはRoseが映画館へ連れ込めって予定てす。 写真をみってください。 可愛い、ね。 Roseのお父さんはIraqでいます。も、お母さんはびようきです。 一月私の家族に棲みそうです。 私の家族はRoseがだいすきですよ。
Sunday, October 4, 2009
SHADOWS 2009
昨夏休みにAMSを申し込みました. 毎十月十六日AMSは Shadows をします. Shadowsはコスプレの宴会(えんかい/party)です. 今年Shadowsのテ-マ(theme) は マ-ド サイエンス(mad science)あります. 私 は“Doctor Evil を 擬す(ぎす)”と言っていました. でも, 今 Doctor Weird の仮装(かそう)を著ることにしました. Doctor Weird の 仮装 が作りすぎると思います. はつ, かぶとを作たところです. つぎ, シャ-トを作いましょ. 私はDoctor Weird がにるといいです. (しゃしん を 見ってください.)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Kittens
私は十三さいに私の猫が母をなりました. (私の猫なまえはShilohです.) Shiloh は 八 可愛い子猫を産みました. 一週間毎日子猫ばかりとあそんでいました. (夏休み) 一日子猫をあそぶの間に私はふとねいました. 三時間後私はさめましたから, おなかがあついと思いました. 子猫は私のお中の上にねいました. ずいぶんゆかいをなりました. も, 一時間あそこ に いました. いい日, ね.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Weight Loss
常に私はふとっていました。 十三の時私はずっと圧迫されたとすればいました。九十一 kg です。 小学の時私は足先をたくさんいたいましたから, 運動がむずいです。(As a note to Matsuhashi-sensei, when I put 足先 [ankles] into the search terms on jisho.org to be sure it was the right Kanji, えびぜめ was found. SURPRISE!) も, ビデオ ゲ-ム が 好きでしたから, 私は運動を望んでいないます。高校の時 私は百十kgです。私は体調不良のは、私が私の家の2階に行く疲れになるとされでした。その後、私は決定した薄膜になりました。毎日その夏休み, 運動をしたり水ばかり飲んでと Rice Checksばかり食べていました。その三月私は十一kgを失りました。も, 私は、再び脂肪になることを約束しました。それ以来、私は 八十四kg圧迫していました。(12)
けど, 夏の去年食べ物を食べるそめるすぎました。去月 私は95 kg体重に気づいました。私は非常に自分自身で怒っていたし、再度重量緩いことを決めました。先回 私は Tae-Bo (an exercise tape) を 遣いしていました。今 P90Xを遣います。九十で運動の90日間です。今日は30日を済みますから, 五 kg を失りました。次30日私は運動がさらよていです。
けど, 夏の去年食べ物を食べるそめるすぎました。去月 私は95 kg体重に気づいました。私は非常に自分自身で怒っていたし、再度重量緩いことを決めました。先回 私は Tae-Bo (an exercise tape) を 遣いしていました。今 P90Xを遣います。九十で運動の90日間です。今日は30日を済みますから, 五 kg を失りました。次30日私は運動がさらよていです。
Monday, September 7, 2009
Cartoons and Katanas
私 はAMSの員です。(アニメとまんが ソサイアティ) 毎週金曜日の夜7時 私たちはアニメを見たり, イベントを開催満たしています。アニメ は 楽しいでも, アニメ を 見るだけです。AMS を やめる と思いましたから, クラブ (club) の そうさいを “何かしないでください” 言ました。沢山アイデア (idea) は愚かでしたから。ひとつ の アイデア は 楽しいと思いました。 アイデア “Fan-dub”の エル ハザ-ド (El Hazard) きと です。此れまで 誰もやってみません, でも 私 はあります。 今 私 は fan-dub の 一 番作家です。 どのようにアニメを学びたいと思います。一度 エル ハザ-ド を 見らなくてはなりませんか。アメリカ で アニメ は ずいぶん高いです。ぼく はエル ハザ-ドを もっていますから, 私 に e-mail をください。 TuryScrema@gmail.com 沢山人 が Fan-dub を 見るといいですね。(I can’t think of anything else to say about the Fan-dub, or the Anime Club. Seeing as I need 5 more sentences, I’m just going to randomly switch topics.)
来年 かたな の ビデオ を つくりました。ビデオ20000回視聴されていました。人々は、日本刀の購入については私にアドバイスを求めていいました。唯一の1人が私も修正する遅延された間違いを発見しています。も, World War 2の質問をしたいました。(for some reason)
来年 かたな の ビデオ を つくりました。ビデオ20000回視聴されていました。人々は、日本刀の購入については私にアドバイスを求めていいました。唯一の1人が私も修正する遅延された間違いを発見しています。も, World War 2の質問をしたいました。(for some reason)
STOP!!!!!
I have written this particular post to exceed the 2 posts per page setting on this blog. From this point on for the next couple of posts will be related to my Japanese classes. I sporadically post here when I get angry or upset about something and need to vent my feelings. Posts earlier than this one are highly opinionated and VERY personal. Anyone not wanting to read some very angry, very sad things about my life and my opinion of the state of things should stop on THIS PAGE!!!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Crap, I think I'm Emo.
I want to love someone, and I want someone to love me; but I don't want love at all. What the hell? There are times when I get so lonely, that I just wish that I could lie down and die. I have not been religious for I don't know how long, but I was religious long enough before that to still fear hell and being sent there by suicide. The feeling of loneliness and Isolation keep getting bigger and I just want someone to give a FUCK about me. I know my parents and brother care about me, and my friends would miss me when I am gone, but there is something missing, some kind of closeness that I am missing.
I have never been a very attractive person, nor very sociable. The activities I like are usually sedentary and I despise large groups. Why not try and change? I have, EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to open up to someone, they avoid me after our first encounter. I never enven get to find out what I did wrong! Obviously there is something wrong with me that I have no clue about; fucking great.
When I sit down to think about relationships, I always come to the same conclusion, I don't want one. Yet I try. My parents, after 25+ years of marriage may get a divorce because they cannot stand each other anymore. All but one of my friends parents are divorced, one of them has a stepfather who forced him out of the house. My one friend whose parents are together are for religious reasons. Because of his fathers desire to not "make waves" he just stood bye while she ritualistically beat the shit out of their son (my friend) every night from age 5 to 15. At 16 he grew bigger than her and realized he could fight back.
My brother was emotionally shattered by his first girlfriend who strung him alone for over a year, making him feel inferior, sleeping around, and telling him it was all his fault. My brother is the most confident, emotionally stable person I know, yet he convinced himself that she was right because she was his first girlfriend. A year after he finally broke away from her, he met another girl whom he dated for 3 months before she broke up with him when he wouldn't convert to Catholicism. After that, there was aonther girl who forced him to get me to drive him across town in a blizzard because she felt like talking in person. She broke up with him after he refused to spend ALL of his free time with her. The most recent girlfriend has yet to mess with him, we shall see.
My Uncle let one of his daughters get hooked on heavymetal/gothic drug-abusing bullshit, now god knows where she is. His eldest daughter was going to work for the CIA but she fell in love with a drug addict and now live in a trailer working 3 jobs to support him out of a trailer in bumfuck nowhere.
My aunt married an abuseive cleptomaniac, 2 husbands, 4 individual mortgages, 2 bankruptcy claims and 3 estranged cildren later I have no fucking clue where she is.
The list jsut goes on and on and mother FUCKING ON!!! If life has shown me one goddamn thing it's that relationsips don't work. Why the hell do people do this to themselves? Everyone just ends up hating eachother and creating problems. It is all so fucking pointless, and yet the thing I don't understand is, knowing ALL this, I still want to have a relationship with someone. It's driving me insane. Most likely I'll just die a lonely virgin, like all those who played D&D instead of going to their junior prom, except I won't make millions from Computer Science Knoledge. I hate everything... Shit, I am EMO.
I have never been a very attractive person, nor very sociable. The activities I like are usually sedentary and I despise large groups. Why not try and change? I have, EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to open up to someone, they avoid me after our first encounter. I never enven get to find out what I did wrong! Obviously there is something wrong with me that I have no clue about; fucking great.
When I sit down to think about relationships, I always come to the same conclusion, I don't want one. Yet I try. My parents, after 25+ years of marriage may get a divorce because they cannot stand each other anymore. All but one of my friends parents are divorced, one of them has a stepfather who forced him out of the house. My one friend whose parents are together are for religious reasons. Because of his fathers desire to not "make waves" he just stood bye while she ritualistically beat the shit out of their son (my friend) every night from age 5 to 15. At 16 he grew bigger than her and realized he could fight back.
My brother was emotionally shattered by his first girlfriend who strung him alone for over a year, making him feel inferior, sleeping around, and telling him it was all his fault. My brother is the most confident, emotionally stable person I know, yet he convinced himself that she was right because she was his first girlfriend. A year after he finally broke away from her, he met another girl whom he dated for 3 months before she broke up with him when he wouldn't convert to Catholicism. After that, there was aonther girl who forced him to get me to drive him across town in a blizzard because she felt like talking in person. She broke up with him after he refused to spend ALL of his free time with her. The most recent girlfriend has yet to mess with him, we shall see.
My Uncle let one of his daughters get hooked on heavymetal/gothic drug-abusing bullshit, now god knows where she is. His eldest daughter was going to work for the CIA but she fell in love with a drug addict and now live in a trailer working 3 jobs to support him out of a trailer in bumfuck nowhere.
My aunt married an abuseive cleptomaniac, 2 husbands, 4 individual mortgages, 2 bankruptcy claims and 3 estranged cildren later I have no fucking clue where she is.
The list jsut goes on and on and mother FUCKING ON!!! If life has shown me one goddamn thing it's that relationsips don't work. Why the hell do people do this to themselves? Everyone just ends up hating eachother and creating problems. It is all so fucking pointless, and yet the thing I don't understand is, knowing ALL this, I still want to have a relationship with someone. It's driving me insane. Most likely I'll just die a lonely virgin, like all those who played D&D instead of going to their junior prom, except I won't make millions from Computer Science Knoledge. I hate everything... Shit, I am EMO.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Post number 1
Why should I be writing this? I'm not sure I should; probably just some random period of sadness that has transformed me into some kind of were-emo. Chances are that I will forget all about this page and ignore it until the admins just delete it from unuse. Which is probably just as well, it's probably the ultimate sign of patheticallity (I just made up that word) to have a journal (something private) an deliberately put it in a place where ANYONE can see it at a whim.
I love my family, but at the same time I hate them so much at the same time. My mother, a kind caring, godly, perscription-drug addicted, bipolar, short-fused bitch who criticizes everything and anything, and voices/blames it on anyone unlucky enough to be there when she goes off. She used to work as a criminal psychologist, now she refuses to work at all for all the problems that her bosses may have. She has had MS, Breast Cancer, a histerectomy, gaulstones, and a regenerative tumor on her spine. She now sleeps all day, constantly overdoses on her meds, and complains that I don't do enough. I help pay her bills, and buy her meds; I love her, and nearly want to kill her every day. She is possibly the most pathetic excuse for a person I have ever met.
My father cares too much. He empathizes with everyone he meets and cannot confront anyone. His dumbass boss hordes all the money he can while he lays off minimum wage assembly line workers that were in his employ for over 20 years. My fater has been in debt since marrying my mother, and at no time have I ever seen him proactively try to prevent problems beofre they begin. He sit by with a reassuring smile as things go to hell, then loads everything upon himself. Never blaming anyone, never angry, never changing. He has been planning on declaring bankruptcy for half a year now. Meanwhile I lend him money to pay his bills. Possibly the most horrible thing he has ever done, is that upon starting the bankruptcy he told me to get 1 or 2 credit cards "in case of emergency" shortly after he asked to borrow one and maxed it out at over $5000 and keeps it maxed out every month. He is the kindest man I have ever met, a hard worker, an understanding father, and lives only to provide for us.; and I want to scream at him till I crack a rib.
My brother is everything I am not. Tall, fit, blonde, popular, social, 2 inces taller and 4 years younger. He has been so strong his hole life, and I think my parents resent him for it. As the good child, I rolled over for everything, every single time. He always wanted to do things his way. And, for that, he was criticized and belitteled. Made to feel inferior to me, the pale, overweight, antisocial, suck-up. He says he dosen't resent me for it, but I can either see it in his eyes or make myself think I can. We don't talk much, and while I have one friend whom I hardley ever see, he has nearly a dozen; some of whom are over almost every day. Worst of all, a friend he considers to be more of a brother than I am. How pathetic am I, that my own brother can talk about his problems to someone he met in school and not somone who held him 10 minutes after he was born. He is also apathetic, uninsightful, and as stubborn as a fat cow in India. He never takes advice, never listens, and is constantly at odd with everyone else in the house. Not to say it isn't our fault, I remember once when I was accused af scratching the finish of an antique desk (of which I was guilty) I denied it. My fater then turned to my brother and began to admonish him for his "crime" when he denied doing it, my father became angry and began ti call him a liar, saying I would not do so. Seeing him crying I admitted my guilt, that was our childhood, only sometimes I didn't come clean. I wish so much that I could appologize, but he is so uncaring that he would claim it wouldn't matter. Like putting antibiotic on a scar, it wouldn't matter.
Everyone in this house hates eachother, and refuses to admit it. I have tried so much to make things right, but it runs so deep the well all would sooner hold onto it than make amends. Any real attempts would probably result in more hatred than before.
We are all so fucked.
I love my family, but at the same time I hate them so much at the same time. My mother, a kind caring, godly, perscription-drug addicted, bipolar, short-fused bitch who criticizes everything and anything, and voices/blames it on anyone unlucky enough to be there when she goes off. She used to work as a criminal psychologist, now she refuses to work at all for all the problems that her bosses may have. She has had MS, Breast Cancer, a histerectomy, gaulstones, and a regenerative tumor on her spine. She now sleeps all day, constantly overdoses on her meds, and complains that I don't do enough. I help pay her bills, and buy her meds; I love her, and nearly want to kill her every day. She is possibly the most pathetic excuse for a person I have ever met.
My father cares too much. He empathizes with everyone he meets and cannot confront anyone. His dumbass boss hordes all the money he can while he lays off minimum wage assembly line workers that were in his employ for over 20 years. My fater has been in debt since marrying my mother, and at no time have I ever seen him proactively try to prevent problems beofre they begin. He sit by with a reassuring smile as things go to hell, then loads everything upon himself. Never blaming anyone, never angry, never changing. He has been planning on declaring bankruptcy for half a year now. Meanwhile I lend him money to pay his bills. Possibly the most horrible thing he has ever done, is that upon starting the bankruptcy he told me to get 1 or 2 credit cards "in case of emergency" shortly after he asked to borrow one and maxed it out at over $5000 and keeps it maxed out every month. He is the kindest man I have ever met, a hard worker, an understanding father, and lives only to provide for us.; and I want to scream at him till I crack a rib.
My brother is everything I am not. Tall, fit, blonde, popular, social, 2 inces taller and 4 years younger. He has been so strong his hole life, and I think my parents resent him for it. As the good child, I rolled over for everything, every single time. He always wanted to do things his way. And, for that, he was criticized and belitteled. Made to feel inferior to me, the pale, overweight, antisocial, suck-up. He says he dosen't resent me for it, but I can either see it in his eyes or make myself think I can. We don't talk much, and while I have one friend whom I hardley ever see, he has nearly a dozen; some of whom are over almost every day. Worst of all, a friend he considers to be more of a brother than I am. How pathetic am I, that my own brother can talk about his problems to someone he met in school and not somone who held him 10 minutes after he was born. He is also apathetic, uninsightful, and as stubborn as a fat cow in India. He never takes advice, never listens, and is constantly at odd with everyone else in the house. Not to say it isn't our fault, I remember once when I was accused af scratching the finish of an antique desk (of which I was guilty) I denied it. My fater then turned to my brother and began to admonish him for his "crime" when he denied doing it, my father became angry and began ti call him a liar, saying I would not do so. Seeing him crying I admitted my guilt, that was our childhood, only sometimes I didn't come clean. I wish so much that I could appologize, but he is so uncaring that he would claim it wouldn't matter. Like putting antibiotic on a scar, it wouldn't matter.
Everyone in this house hates eachother, and refuses to admit it. I have tried so much to make things right, but it runs so deep the well all would sooner hold onto it than make amends. Any real attempts would probably result in more hatred than before.
We are all so fucked.
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